UPRA to Smash Mouth: Have Your Press Releases Written by Someone Who Can Actually Write

Often, the press release is our first and most frequent contact with the media. The form is antiquated and awkward, reporters get dozens to hundreds of them every day, and each one has to exist as part of a larger strategy. Never, ever will a single press release accomplish any real long-term PR goals. All of which is to say, it's not the best use of time to overthink each individual press release.


However. 


For the love of Christ, you must hire someone able to write at a level above that of a high school sophomore writing your press releases.


Writing is like running. Pretty much everybody can do it, but very few can do it for a living. And remember, you're sending your press releases to that select few -- people who write for a living. I used to be one of them, so I know, they're a little bit snotty about bad writing. A poorly written press release can kill you.


So, Smash Mouth Lead Singer Steve Harwell, when I saw this press release, I just had to weigh in. It's a silly little publicity stunt, even though your publicist denies that. But whatever ... there's nothing wrong with a publicity stunt now and again. It may or may not get covered on the merits of the event itself, but it's a lot less likely to get anything with this release.


Let's start up top ... why the hell is this on the PR firm's letterhead? I know EMB is a big-time agency but still, it's not a press release about EMB.


And the headline is fine, I guess, but check the subhead:

STEVE HARWELL SETS DATE WITH GUY FIERI TO COMPLETE EGG EATING CHALLENGE

Media Invited to Attend for Coverage

Media Invited to Attend for Coverage? Well, no shit. Why else are you sending a press release? Why would you waste that space for something so ... I dunno, logistically obvious? You know what would be better there? "Proceeds to benefit St. Jude Children's Hospital." If that's what the event is all about, as your publicist claims, you need to get that into the headline, not bury it in the third paragraph.

Now, on to the lead:

After being prompted by a bizarre online fan challenge, lead singer of the multi-platinum GRAMMY-nominated group Smash Mouth,Steve Harwell, has set a date to eat 24 eggs as promised. Pairing up with celebrity chefGuy Fieri who has offered to cook the eggs, the "Egg Challenge" will take place on October 10, 2011 at 1:30 p.m. at Fieri's restaurant, Johnny Garlic's, in Dublin, Calif.

 A whole paragraph in a combination of passive voice and present perfect tense. Is this better?

In response to a bizarre online fan challenge, Smash Mouth lead singer Steve Harwell will eat two dozen eggs, as promised, at 1:30 pm on October 10, 2011. Celebrity chef Guy Fieri will prepare the eggs and the event will take place at his restaurant, Johnny Garlic's, in Dublin, Calif. 

Yes. The correct answer is yes, that's better.


And paragraph two:

The call for Smash Mouth to eat two dozen eggs came about when a fan prompted the challenge on a blog website, Something Awful.

"A blog website?" What are you, my grandma? How about "... when a fan issued the challenge on the blog somethingawful.com."  

The spontaneous request was immediately backed by a multitude of fans via the website, Twitter and Facebook continuously urging Harwell to eat the eggs.

Paaaaassssiiiive! "A multitude of fans began urging Harwell to eat the eggs through the blog, Twitter and Facebook." 

Soon, it became one of the hottest trending topics on Twitter and Yahoo ...

No it didn't. Don't say things that aren't true. 

... and like an encore chant at a live concert, Harwell had no choice but to submit to their pleas.

See now that's not bad. I knew you could do it!


I won't keep nitpicking every paragraph because you get the idea, right? Strike the "to be" verbs, the passive voice and the past perfect tense. Don't bury the lead. 


Oh, and you also might want to make sure the photo your publicist sends out doesn't make you look like a douche.